They're growing so fast..

Ive just spent the morning shopping for a school uniform for my little boy. He is going in to juniors next week, juniors! How has that happened, it was only two minutes ago that he was starting Reception.

The lovely Liz Jarvis wrote a piece on her blog last week about wishing their lives away and it hit home, time has gone so fast, so with the littlest, Im reminded of a poem that Ive had stuck to my calender for the last seven years. I dont know who wrote it, but Im thankful they did. If anyone ever finds out, please say thanks for me :)

Babies grow up

we have learned to our sorrow

so try leaving jobs

that can wait till tomorrow.

Children grow older

while you're not looking

and years stretch ahead

full of cleaning and cooking.

So keep quiet cobwebs

and dust go to sleep,

I'm cuddling my baby

and babies don't keep.



Our day at Trevarno..

Before the riots, before the worry, before working 23 hours a day and before sleeping every hour to get over it, we were a little family of four, and yesterday we were that again and a walk in a garden made it totally perfect.

We are on our holidays in Cornwall at the moment, and you know what the great British weather is like, one minute your heading to the beach and the next your grabbing your raincoats, but we wouldn’t have it any other way would we! So after much deliberation we decided to head out to Trevarno gardens and estate near Helston, I had heard some good things about it, so thought I’d put it to the test!

And what a great decision it was!

They say you can explore and lose yourself in 70 acres of gardens and grounds of the estate, we didn’t get around to see anywhere near 70 but you can most certainly lose yourself in the beautiful surroundings and the fantastic woodland walks which kept the children entertained for hours!
We got there mid-morning and found it quite quiet for a summer day in the school holidays, which was perfect for us, but that did mean that we had picked a day when the children’s entertainment wasn’t on. Not that you would need it, the place was amazing!

With an adventure playground, woodland walks, reindeer, wild birds and beautiful flowers there really is a huge amount to see and do on your day here. The fact that peacocks stroll throughout the estate just adds that extra magical feel!

Within two minutes of arriving the kids had run off to find the peacocks that you could hear from the car park, and they weren’t disappointed! They are beautiful and spend most of their time on the lawn by the conservatory tea room.

After a short stop and run around, they disappeared through the wonderful hidden tunnels and tracks to find the woodland adventure play area which is ideal for all ages, mine are one and seven and they both spent an hour here very happily!

After a play in there we went back to the tea room for some lunch, and although a little expensive, it certainly got our vote! Using only seasonal food, it’s all homemade and it really is delicious! (the deserts are to die for!). The kids had a lunch box each which cost £4.75. It was a tad more than we are used to paying for lunch boxes, but you do get value for money as it included a huge cheese roll, fresh fruit drink, dried fruit bar, crisps, sesame seed bar and a chocolate bar! I’m pretty sure we could have shared it with them!

So after re-fuelling and a quick use of the on-site toilets and baby changing room (which are both excellent and very clean) we walked back in to the gardens. Mr N wanted to check out the branch line station at the
very top of the gardens. They have recently opened a platform at Trevarno which is currently being restored by the Helston Railway Preservation Company, an entirely voluntary group, working to re-open the most southerly branch line in the UK. There is a working diesel shunter, which offers rides on certain days, and carriage train which is currently under restoration. It is open though for you to pop your head in and look around, including the drivers carriage. The boys loved this!

We finished the day with a stroll around the lake with its Victorian boathouse, which looks like something out of a film. In fact if you Google Trevarno gardens it is more than likely that you will find a picture of this lake, and I can assure you that it looks just like these photos, quiet, tranquil and totally magical.

A quick stop to say bye to the peacocks on the way out and our day at Trevarno was complete. The kids had a great time, and we thoroughly enjoyed the walk together, all in all it was perfect and we can’t wait to go again!

Trevarno Gardens is near Helston, and is easily accessible from St.Ives, Helston and the A30. Sat Nav users use TR13 0RU. It’s open every day 10.30 – 5pm (except Christmas and Boxing Day)

www.trevarno.co.uk

Its been a while..

And this is why...

Perfect :)

Silent Sunday

Silent Sunday

Saturday is nearly here - YAY!

Well I've nearly made it! Only two more days and my little boy will be coming home :)

I wish you could all see my face right now, I am literally beaming!

He managed to call this evening. We have been trying every night but apparently the valley where they are staying has intermittent signal (yeah right!). He sounded happy, and was enjoying himself, he's made loads of friends, and was so happy to speak to his sister.

I've missed him so much. I've never spent this long away from him, ever! But at the same time, its made me realise that he isn't my little baby any more, well he'll always be my baby, just a big one!!

Any way, this is more of a little photo entry really, and seeing as Ive bored you all with my rambles about how much I have missed him, I thought I'd share with you some of my favourite shots of him!

Can you guess where he is yet?! Our first family trip abroad was to Australia (we dont do things by half!), he was 2, and he was so well behaved!

Always the cool dude! Just like his Dad.

Is it wrong to say that they look alike!

Although he was only four, he looks so much older, I can almost see what he is going to look like when he is grown up. One of my favourite photos of us, taken on the largest wheel in the world in Tokyo.

Being so much braver than I was, on the Ocean Park Cable Car in Hong Kong. My brave boy :)

Having fun in Falmouth!!

Demanding quarters at the top of Trump Tower in the beautiful New York City. Our favourite holiday!

By far the best looking member of The Wanted - don't you think!!

My beautiful boy :) Saturday can't come soon enough!!!

x

The Gallery : Birth

This is the first time I've entered 'The Gallery' and I'm quite excited and a little nervous!

Naturally when I saw that the theme for this week was Birth I automatically thought of the births of both of my children, I will probably get around to telling you all about them but for now they are stories for another day!

This story is about me. The birth, or should I say re-birth of.. me!

I've had an interesting year really. I knew exactly this time last year that my marriage was falling apart and I pretty much gave up. In November we decided to live separately and for the first few months I was a wreck. I'm almost embarrassed to think about the mess I was in, but in February something clicked and I decided enough is enough.

In February it was the 15th anniversary of my Mums death, she was 49. All this wallowing and self-pitying I was doing was wasting a life that I had, my two beautiful children were seeing the very worst of me, and during the few days that month when I don't want to see the world, it was like she visited and gave me one of those looks - just like she did when I was in trouble! And something in me woke up.

Instead of feeling sorry for myself it was time to make changes. So I did!

I made a list of things I AM going to do, and the first was a marathon. Every year my lovely mum would sit there and watch all the runners finishing the London Marathon and promise that one day she would do it. Well she never got around to it, and I promised that that wouldn't be the same for me.

So I convinced a friend that although I wasn't ready for running one, I could probably walk one and with that we signed up for the Shine Marathon in Manchester raising money for Cancer Research. Training was so much fun. I lost three stone and I was feeling like the person I was 15 years ago, O & L had the mum they deserved and I literally haven't been happier. I trained every week, meaning that my husband had the children more and as time went past we got to know each other again.

When the weekend of the marathon came, we were back to dating and falling in love again. It was amazing, and when I crossed that finish line, in more pain than I have ever been in, the only person I wanted to see and speak to was him.

So my photo this week is of my medal. Its not a great photo, but it means the world to me! It reminds me of how far I have come, how far we have come and it reminds me of my amazing achievement. Not only that but I raised over £334 for Cancer Research!

When I finished that marathon I was the person I had always wanted to be, and I haven't looked back!

A letter from the littlest to the biggest..

Dear big bro,

Hiya! How are you?

Hows it going with Nanna & Granddad? I hope you are having fun, so does Mummy and Daddy.

Its weird being here without you, the house is really quiet, and its no fun chasing the cat around without you! The upside is that I've been able to play on all your things without you shouting at me!

I spent ages yesterday on your trampoline, Mummy was her usual worried self every time I got carried away with the bouncing, but it was loads of fun!

Mummy even caught me in your room this morning, I was just looking at some pictures of you and making sure that all of your wrestlers were still in the ring, its ok, they are and I promise I haven't touched them, no really I haven't!

Any way I had better go, I hope you have a great week, although secretly Mummy and I cant wait for you to come home on Saturday, I keep shouting you outside your room and its getting boring you not replying!

Love you loads and loads,
L xxx

ps - Mummy used one of my wipes to take her eye make-up off the other day, she wont be doing that again! It was really funny, you would have laughed alot!!

Silent Sunday

Is it wrong to want him to miss me??

I’d washed all his summer clothes, packed up his Dr. Who toys and filled a suitcase full of his things, but the reality of waving him off was something I was ignoring, and had been ignoring all week.

But this morning it happened.

I stood there in a bit of a daze, as his Nanna & Grandad turned up, made small talk and put his things in to the car. This is it, he’s really going away, and I’m going to be four hours away from him.

And with that, he asked me to grab his DS and his favourite cuddly dog, and they drove off.

I’ve never been away from him for that long, never. I mean its never been easy to go away without the children. My Aunt & Uncle live in Surrey and the in-laws live in Tokyo, so popping over for sleepovers, don’t really happen! The last time I left him for that long was three days over Christmas when my OH and I were ‘separated’ (that’s a nice way of putting it!) and this morning all those feelings came flooding back. I’d let him down, he is alone with them because of what we have done, because we couldn’t talk and fix things. You see this was all sorted when we weren’t together, and OH was supposed to be going with him, and now we are back together he isn’t. Have we done the wrong thing, was he going to be alright, was he going to cry every night.

I know, I know these aren’t very rational thoughts really are they, but then I wasn’t feeling very calm and rational this morning.

And that’s when he said it, after comforting me, and wiping away the tears, ‘stop thinking about yourself and think about what a great time he will have’ and it was like being slapped in the face with a big kipper (you know, the comedy kind that really makes a slap!) Was I just thinking about myself, was I really being that selfish that I couldn’t share my son with his grandparents? Maybe I am.

All I have been focussing on is him being alone and he isn’t. He loves his Granddad to pieces (and his Nanna, but she isn’t as much fun!) and I know that within minutes of getting there and looking around and setting up his room, he won’t be giving home and second thought. And lets face it, that’s how it should be. I don’t want him crying to come home all week.

So from today, as much as it still hurts seeing his empty bed tonight, I know he is going to have a great time. He deserves it, he really does, and the bonus is, I get him back in six days, all refreshed and lovely.. and I cant wait :) and neither can his sister!

Let the summer begin, our bags are packed!

Its hard to believe my little man is still at school!

This term really has been the longest one I can remember! Infact a friend of mine, who is a teacher, told me tonight that in 23 years of teaching he has never before worked on his birthday, until tomorrow!

But alas the end is in sight! The summer holidays are nearly here!

One more early rise, one more morning of yelling please 'get your uniform on, eat your breakfast, clean your teeth' blah blah blah! There are some mornings that I wonder if only dogs can hear my voice, as no one else seems to!

I'll tell you what, Thursday can't come soon enough!

I have my holiday list planned of places we are going to visit and their summer backpacks are ready for the off! I do one of these every year. For the past couple of months I've been collecting little toys, books, games, colouring books, travel games and the like,nothing super expensive, just new. I've wrapped them, and packed them in their 'summer bags' which are actually Content & Calm Traykit bags and they literally go everywhere with us, days out, long drives, any where! The bonus is the kids can carry them themselves as well! I love putting them together! The summer holidays wouldn't be the same without them! The bag is a lifesaver for flights and car journeys and with one pink and one blue there is no way they get mixed up! I got mine in Boots after recognising it on Dragons Den and thinking that it was just perfect, and really it is! With family living all over the country and the in-laws living in Japan I can safely say that there would have been no way I would have made it through those flights without this bag. I cant recommend the bags highly enough to be honest.

However, Ive got to get tomorrow out of the way, and then let the fun begin!

You just watch.. it will rain!!

Happy summer :)

Silent Sunday

Capture the moment.. but don't lose it, please

Being new to the world of blogging, there is nothing better than spending twenty minutes (when Lily closes her eyes!) every day reading some of your amazing posts and looking at your fantastic photos.

I love taking photos, I still do, but unfortunately a simple stupid error means I have lost five years of my babies lives and there is nothing I can do about it.

In April, my husband surprised me by taking us all away to Cyprus. I was thrilled, we hadn't been on a proper family holiday somewhere new, ever! We packed light and just before putting my camera & video camera in my bag, I put all the data on my laptop.

I'd been sorting all the photos on my machine for months. Making sure they were all in folders and the folders were alphabetised and in date order, you know what its like, I'm a sucker for lists and order! The only thing I kept saying to myself over and over again was 'buy a hard drive, just in case' but it was one of those things I was going to get round to.

It turns out, the first day of that holiday was the day I should have got round to it.

With two cars on the drive and in broad daylight, two 'people' (I use that term very loosely) smashed their way in to our house and emptied every single drawer in search of the keys. Unable to find them, they took what they could grab, iPods, camera's, every single piece of jewellery I had and my laptop. My shabby, half broken, red wine stained laptop, with every photo I have taken of my children on it.

And with that, they were gone. No back-up, no hard drive, and no chance of ever seeing them again.

Rest assured, I have learnt my lesson.

Please don't make the same mistake I did, if you take it, save it and keep it in a place far away from your machine.

Me :)

A not so silent Sunday..

Sunday started so well..

No sign of life until 6.30am (trust me that's a lie in!), the sun was shining, the birds were singing, we made plans for the garden, the bacon was calling, it was all going so well!

It was a Sunday like it should have been, we walked to the park, we were loving being in the sun, Sunday's should look like this!

But that all changed, when the OH started working on something for work. He gets stressed and I mean really stressed, no one approaches him, or should I say, no one should approach him. He's a bit like a caged bear, now imagine that bear after its been poked through the bars - with a stick! Ouchies!

Any way, his mood changed, the kids mood changed and it started to rain. Thats when it all went horrible wrong.

My eldest had built a fab den in the lounge with a box. He loved it, all the toys he could play with and he was quite happy with that!

When disaster struck. The littlest had got bored of not being allowed to play, so launched an ice cream truck at him. There were tears, blimey were there tears! And thats when we noticed it.. the water pouring down his blanket weren't his tears, it was the rain!!

The rain was pouring in through the conservatory roof, and when I say pouring, I actually mean it was raining in my lounge, I could see the sky!!

Thankfully, the bear was ok about being interrupted (mainly because he was worried it was going to get the TV!)

He was up the ladders and on the roof quicker than I could say 'its raining in here!' the only thing is, he is a bash now and think later kind of guy, a lot like our littlest!!

Fortunately for me, it worked! He managed to slide the roof back together - I'm beginning to think our house is made of Playmobil (no actually, Playmobil is a lot more sturdier than our house, sorry Playmobil!) and the water has stopped coming in for now!

And the even better news is that the littlest apologised to the biggest, and he now likes her again - yay! And OH has stopped being a bear and has brought me a nice glass of red wine - yum!

Any way, whilst the house has returned to being quiet again and nearly everyone is asleep, Ill say goodnight - sleep well :)

Silent Sunday

Right back to the start...

So my story started, wow, fifteen years ago this year! How time flies hey!

I was born and raised in Blackpool, yes I know!! It is everything everyone thinks about the place, but for me it was home (even though you could never just pop in to town for a new top in the morning without bumping in to Fred Flinstone or a naked cowboy!) I had holiday jobs at the infamous Tower and the Pleasure Beach and had the most fun with the bestest friends, but in 1996 my life changed massively.

I lost my mum.

My Mum and Dad divorced when I was 11, and he remarried six months after he left (needless to say that marriage has ended as well and he is due to marry again in October - what a roll model!) He was never really a part of my life so when Mum was diagnosed with cancer in July 95' I had a conversation with her about what would happen with us (me & my sister) should the worst happen, and it was decided that we would go and live with my Aunt in Surrey.

So that's what happened, my Mum died in February 96', I managed, somehow, to get through my A-levels in the May/June and then in July, exactly ten years after we moved in to our house, we moved to Surrey leaving my friends behind to start again.

In the September I started at university and met my OH. He was lovely, well still is lovely and 15 years later we are still together. I'm not going to lie it hasn't been easy, blimey it has been up and down and all over the place! We married 9 years ago and had our first child 7 years ago, and that was hard.. very hard. But we came through it and had our second in 2009. However we hit the same issues again and in 2010 we decided it would be better if we weren't together.

I am pleased to say though that after five months apart it turns out we were wrong and things have never been better. Don't get me wrong, we still hit the occasional stumbling block, but the difference now is that instead of keeping it all inside, we talk, and move on, its all new to us I can tell you but its like we are two different people together for the first time!

So here we are, getting through one day at a time and enjoying it. The munchkins got me through some dark days and I feel I owe them the best, I only hope that I am doing a good job!

Any way I think I have bored you enough to begin with, and besides Hannah Montana is on (boy, how my life has changed from the boardroom to the Disney channel!!)

See you again soon!

Me :)

So, this is me...

I'm new to all this to be honest.

Well not new, so to speak, I've been recommending that people blog for quite some time, I've just never done it, and now I'm really nervous!

What shall I say? Where shall I start!! What on earth would people be interested in reading about that they aren't already thinking themselves!

So I'll start at the beginning, seeing as that's supposed to be the best place isn't it, and I hope you enjoy the bumbling's!
Me :)